that's ok

"Forgive your brother from your heart"*

Pride is a dangerous thing. It stops us from acknowledging we have done something wrong, stops us from admitting that to others, and it also stops us accepting and forgiving other people. How are we to respond when someone says sorry? what do we say? what to we mean? how does it change how we treat each other? what are they really asking for when they say sorry? 'Who can forgive sins but God alone?'**

I have recently been spending more time with pre-school aged children, which has been a wonderful blessing and delight. The other day one of the children pulled my hair. I told him that that wasn't a nice thing to do and asked for an apology. After he did so, I told him I forgave him, and then we continued playing.

When I get into a fight it is hard to admit that I might not be entirely correct, but it is also hard not to gloat or boast when someone admit their failure(s) that to me. What if I decide not to forgive, the friendship cannot be restored, the guilt will fester, the pride expand, I would become self-righteous and hold a grudge.

It's not only about saying "sorry", or hearing someone say "sorry". It's also important how we respond to that!

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."***

Pride not only stops us from admitting fault, it also keeps us from forgiving and from having right relationships between people. Not only this but being proud and refusing to forgive also hinders our relationship with God!

So what is the alternative to pride? I think King Solomon was right when he said, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom."**** Let us be humble, forgiving completely when people apologise. We can say "I forgive you", or "you are forgiven". That doesn't necessarily mean 'forget', it just means that that issue/thing is no longer held against them!

Paul writes to the church in Corinth about forgiving a fellow believer. I think his wisdom is useful for us today, not only in the church but with everyone. Paul says that if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not only to one but to many; as we all live in community, the fracture in one friendship will affect a wider group of people. Instead of punishment and pride, "you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him."*****

When someone withholds forgiveness and love, it is really painful, and can cause excessive sorrow. Can I encourage us all to forgive as we would like to be forgiven; remembering our own flaws, seeking to be humble in admitting fault, acknowledging mistakes and forgiving. Seeking also to forgive as God forgives, completely. Forgiving not just in words, but from the heart.

*Matthew 18:35

**Mark 2:7

***Matthew 6:14-15

****Proverbs 11:2

*****2 Corinthians 2:5-8