missionaries' downfall

There is an outcry in the streets for lack of wine; all joy has grown dark; the gladness of the earth is banished.*

I glanced at the menu in this little pub, unsure if I wanted a drink or not. I was out for dinner with a friend last month, we then went for post-dinner drinks. Then one cocktail caught my eye, and simply by its name, I thought it was worth getting! "Missionaries' Downfall". I did not, and still don't, see that drink as my downfall! Firstly, I'm not a missionary exactly. And secondly, I believe that alcohol is part of God's creation, and like so much else in the world, it is good but can be misused. Over-consumption isn't wise, yet that doesn't mean no alcohol is allowed.

The Proverbs were written thousands of years ago, yet I am certain they hold wisdom and truth still relevant to this day. There is a limit to a good thing. Wine, and other forms of alcohol, can cause mockery, brawls, people to be led astray, and a lack of wealth.** I also avoid over-consumption as I hope to regard and respect my Lord and God in everything I do, and I doubt my ability to do so if I were to have too much alcohol.

Please, take a moment to read and think over these passages, do they speak true to your life? Do you see a correlation between what you do and what others -God included- might expect of us?

The one who is intoxicated reels and staggers in their vision to see clearly and will stumble in giving good judgement.****

Woe to those who rise early in the morning, that they may run after strong drink, who tarry late into the evening as wine inflames them! They have lyre and harp, tambourine and flute and wine at their feasts, but they do not regard the deeds of the Lord, or see the work of his hands.***

Does that mean, no alcohol? No! (for some it might be yes, but I do not believe the Bible is against it completely!) Was I really letting go and ignoring God when I got that cocktail? No, I don't believe so, rather I was enjoying in a respectful way one of the joys of life. I trust that on the Last Day, when Jesus returns, there will be a massive feast and celebration. Which will include wine, at least! The Bible describes this feast in several places, one of those is in Isaiah:

On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine, of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined. And he will swallow up on this mountain the covering that is cast over all peoples, the veil that is spread over all nations. He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken. It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.This is the Lord; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”*****

Our society in Australia enjoys alcohol a lot, as do many other countries, I might add! I see the appeal, to get away from the daily issues, and socialise and relax. I also see the abuse of a good thing, and of those people around us who suffer from or because of the abuse of alcohol. There is such a thing as "too much of a good thing". I hope and pray that we can consider what it means to enjoy the gifts of the world without over-using and misusing them.

*Isaiah 24:11
**Proverbs 20:1, 21:17
***Isaiah 5:11-12
****Isaiah 28:7
*****Isaiah 25:6-11

powerful words

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.*

When I was in high school, there were days that I wondered what made a friend a friend. Honest statements are appreciated, but when they have a subtle jab, an insult, mockery. It hurts a lot more than words coming from non-friends. Add to that those words said from across the room from peers, not friends, can also stay long after we leave school. I remember several such painful occasions, when I wished I could sink into the concrete or change how I looked, or fast-forward high school! The sad thing is, it doesn't only happen at high school. It also happens in primary school. At university. At home. With family. With strangers. These situations scar us, they shape how we act, and how we see ourselves; mostly for the negative.

My soul is in the midst of lions; I lie down amid fiery beasts— the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords.**

Not good enough. It's not right. Words do hurt, they do break... maybe not bones, but hearts and self-esteem. When we are in such situations, or remembering such pain. We are free to cry out to god, like King David did:

Be not silent, O God of my praise! For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me, speaking against me with lying tongues. They encircle me with words of hate, and attack me without cause. In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer. So they reward me evil for good, and hatred for my love.***

When God seems far off and we wonder if He is real, if he cares what is happening to us. We ought to remember not to retaliate. It will not solve or make things better to repay them. It might be satisfying for a moment, but in the long run, it only stretches out the pain, guilt and shame. Peter, one of Jesus' faithful disciples reminded followers:

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”****

Words can be used to break down and to build up. Often the bad cry louder than the good. I remember a friend telling me once how good I am at singing, and another reminding me what an inspiration I can be. The challenge is keeping the good words in balance with the bad.

There is a power in words. They are a double edged sword, to rip open and to bind back together. Proverbs reminds us that 'the tongue of the wise brings healing'.***** We all long for healing, to be made whole. To get away from the words spoken that still stick thorns into our minds and souls preventing us from wholeness. But God has the words to restore me, and you. He loves us. He cares for us. He watches over us. He provides for us. 

But you, O God my Lord, deal on my behalf for your name's sake; because your steadfast love is good, deliver me! For I am poor and needy, and my heart is stricken within me. I am gone like a shadow at evening; I am shaken off like a locust. My knees are weak through fasting; my body has become gaunt, with no fat. I am an object of scorn to my accusers; when they see me, they wag their heads. Help me, O Lord my God! Save me according to your steadfast love! Let them now that this is your hand; you, O Lord, have done it! Let them curse, but you will bless! They arise and are put to shame, but your servant will be glad! May my accusers be clothed with dishonor; may they be wrapped in their own shame as in a cloak! With my mouth I will give great thanks to the Lord; I will praise him in the midst of the throng. For he stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save him from those who condemn his soul to death.***

May I encourage us all to be people with words of wisdom and encouragement, kindness and love. With useful things to say that build one another up. With praise and thanks to God for the blessings he has already given and the ones he promises to provide. So that slowly these powerful words might remove the sting of the negative ones. 

*Proverbs 18:21
**Psalm 57:4
***Psalm 109:1-5, 21-31
****1 Peter 3:9-12
*****Proverbs 12:18

church

"I have revealed and saved and proclaimed— I, and not some foreign god among you. You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “that I am God.*

Church is the name given to both the building where worship of Jesus the Son of God takes place, and the name given to the people who visit collectively each week.

What is church for? Why do you go to the church that you do? Why don't you go to church? What factors make up your decision? Why go to the local church? Why go to a church with many people? I have been thinking a lot about the people who make up the church community, and how we decide which branch or area of the wider church we attach ourselves to. I have been able to think about this having traveled around Europe and visited a church almost every Sunday, and now back "home", with the opportunity to recommit or commit to a different community. I don't have the answers, but I do want to share part of my journey -what I have learnt thus far- with my readers :) hopefully with this we can make better, more informed, decisions about the questions above and any others we might have about church.

The church community is treasured by God, and was chosen since the start of time to be God's people, under His rule, as His witnesses on earth. The church is based and founded on the truth that Jesus is Christ, the answer to all our questions. The church is ideally a gracious, merciful and welcoming place. Each person who makes up part of the church is there- not for themselves, but- to share their gifts for the common good; for the building up of the church**.

The church exists in Christ. Without Jesus there would be no church, He is the Life and Meaning, and Reason. If Jesus wasn't a real person, didn't die and rise again, wasn't fully human and God incarnate, then there would be no reason to meet together. If Jesus had not given us the task of remembering Him and being His messengers on earth, if He had not modeled what that should look like, then the church would be quite the meaningless community!

Who is this man who seems to dictate how so many people live their lives? Why does the church listen to and follow Jesus? Because God said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”*** and then 'God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.'****

The church is to be collectively holy, set apart from the world. In the world but not of it. Sharing and speaking into the world, but living life pleasing to God in fellowship. God intends the church community to speak into the world, sharing His world view and message, just as in the old testament the priests were God's messengers to His people, so now, the church collectively are the messengers to the whole world.

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."*****

The church is not perfect, and God uses that weakness to show his power. If Christians were any better at being human than anyone else, then they would get all the praise and glory, but since they are just as human and still flawed God is able to show his awesome power and strength, wisdom and love, mercy and forgiveness.

"His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose that he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord."******

*Isaiah 43:12
**1 Corinthians 14:12
***Matthew 17:5
**** Ephesians 1:22-23
*****1 Peter 2:9
******Ephesians 3:10-11

too young

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.*

too young. too inexperienced. too uneducated. too emotional. too fickle. too impatient. too unconnected. too passionate. too foolish....

I am lacking in so many qualities. People may sometimes say or think otherwise about me, but in truth, I am very young, and quite inexperienced, highly emotional, maybe with a well-rounded education and limited connections, but I am impatient, foolish and fickle. I feel these deficiencies looming high over me, swamping any hope of trying or doing something new. What can I do? How can I be useful? Who am I to tell someone how to do things? Who am I to lead a group? Who am I to plan an event? Who am I?

I am thankful that I am not the only young person struggling with these feelings. Timothy was a young man who was mentored by the Apostle Paul. Eventually Paul sent him to do his own ministry alone. There were days when Timothy would have compared himself to his mentor and seen just how little he really knew. There must have also been plenty of people in the community who looked at Timothy and wondered why on earth he thought he had the authority or right to tell them what to do. I can imagine him wondering if Paul had got it wrong, if maybe he should just give up, change careers, try something easier.

Paul writes to Timothy in a very personal and encouraging letter to give advice and support, we can read two of these letters in the Bible. At one point Paul reminds Timothy not to let anyone dismiss him because of his youth, but to press on being an example of Christ in how he spoke, what he did, how he loved, believed and prayed. Ok, maybe Timothy was an exceptional young person.

I reflect on one of my favourite Bible passages, that reminds readers that Gods wisdom is not human wisdom, that His ways are not our ways...

God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”**

Sometimes being the top student, or having a quick wit, or a good way with words, or being mature, or experienced is very important for street credibility. But God doesn't look at us the same way society does. He sees other things, He values other things. He chooses people who may appear to us as foolish choices, shameful, weak and lowly. He works in and through me, us weak people, to remind us where our strength and skills come from- from God! And to show the world who is really powerful and wise- God! 

If I was smart, mature, educated, experienced, logical, patient, wise, connected, spoke with authority and was altogether just an amazing person. Well then, everything that I did, would be obviously my doing! ...because I'm just that good, that I don't need any help or inspiration. Thankfully, I am not wonder woman! And cannot do anything of meaning or significance alone. Without God, my Strength, my Wisdom, my Power, my Hope,  my Guide, my Redeemer I am simply eating, drinking, and living a bit of a boring life.

A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness***

Being young isn't a bad thing. I want to take the advice that Paul gave Timothy, and learn to be an example for all in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. And when I succeed, I'll boast in the Lord. And when I fail, I point to the Lord who forgives and works in and through weak vessels to show His power.

*1 Timothy 4:12
**1 Corinthians 1:27-31
*** Ecclesiastes 2:24-26a

alone

Turn to me and have mercy, for I am alone and in deep distress.*

Moving country has put into focus friendship and traveling alone on and off in the past few months has allowed me to reflect on solitude. I used to find the idea unbearable but am slowly learning to appreciate it. This has come, I think, with a change in how I see solitude. I used to associate being by myself with loneliness. It can be that, but that is not everything.

Being in a foreign country, without the long term connections, there were days that I had little to do with people. Sometimes it was just what I wanted; time to sit and do craft, or go for a walk along the river. Other days I wished I could call up a friend -despite them being on the other side of the world!- and catch up; the silence was deafening, the activities dull.

Being back home, and trying to catch up with friends has been wonderful. Time apart can sometimes damage or change a friendship, and other times one picks up where the friendship was left off. The challenge is how to cope with change and the moments when all is uncertain, when friends are no longer around, or are busy with other things. How do I cope with being alone? What do I do? Who do I turn to?

I have a problem with clingy-ness. If I find a friend I attach myself pretty close to them, and then when all goes pear-shaped, I find it really tricky, and to cope, I seek out my next friend (and "victim") to attach myself to. This is an unhealthy way of dealing with loneliness. And I am ever learning to notice that in myself and ensure it doesn't overpower me. I am learning to seek God and his presence when everyone else seems far away.

'I would soon have settled in silence of the grave. 

I cried out, "I am slipping!" But your unfailing love, O LORD, supported me. 

When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.'**

Loneliness is awful. The "silence of the grave" is overpowering. This can happen even when we're in a crowded room. When we feel ignored or misunderstood, like people aren't seeing or caring about the "real" you. On days like that I turn to God's unfailing love, 'All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings'***. He cares and knows, He loves and supports, He gives and understands.

God understands the need to be alone. Which is not loneliness. I have come to appreciate spending time alone with God, and spending time reflecting on my own life and thoughts. Sitting near nature and seeing the beauty, thinking through issues, planning my day or life. Taking all those things to God in prayer. Jesus did it too, while he was on earth. He found quiet places on mountainsides to pray, and made sure to find places of solitude and rest for himself and his friends.

God hears our distress, He knows what it means to be abandoned by friends, and have no one to support us. He knows what it is like to be rejected, and misrepresented. He knows what it's like to have no one to turn to. He knows, because He -Jesus, the Nazarene- went through it as he was rejected by His friends and left to die on the cross. Apparently even forgotten by His Heavenly Father! But three days later, He was raised to life, God hadn't abandoned Him, but allowed Him to suffer something on our behalf. And in that knowing and experiencing, God is able to reach out and into our lives.

God does provide friends, maybe not as quickly as we hope, maybe not the people we expect, but He does. He has. And the best friend he can give, like I said the other day, is himself!

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."****

Lord God, under the shadow of Your wings, let us hope. Your love supports us when there is no one - no one to share a word, or an embrace, or a smile. Bless all who suffer from such loneliness. Enrich their lives with a friend or a stranger who will spend a moment caring. In those moments Your love shines through, the world is reborn, and Christ is know. Amen.*****

*Psalm 25:16
**Psalm 94:17-19
***Psalm 36:7
****Matthew 28:20
*****An Anglican Compendium of Thoughts and Prayers, "Loneliness Comes In Many Flavours"

welcome back

'Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to your holy mountain, to the place where you live.'*

My dreams may not have been leading me on my travels these past 6 months, but I did have a hope and an aim in my travels: to see more of the world and how God might want to use me in it. For the moment, I have returned to Australia. And rather easily I have slipped back into a routine; catching up with friends, getting involved in my local church and community. There are some strange things that make a place comfortable and familiar. For me, the other day I had a moment where I felt like I was really back in Australia. 

It was a winter's day, I was sitting in the sun with a friend, near the beach, knitting. The best part was the reactions we got. A few people made comments which struck me. One elderly lady was amazed that two women in their 20's would be knitting. A couple of middle aged women were inspired and declared they would take up knitting this winter! And a man pushing a pram and walking a dog, without pausing in his stride, said "knitting on the beach. awesome!" and walked away!

(I heard this song on the radio in Germany a few days before flying back to Australia. It felt right to listen to that song then, as though anticipating the greetings I would receive! although i don't like all the words, the chorus is what caught my attention and stayed with me)

** 

Welcome back to Australia, I tell myself. I wouldn't say that my "dreams" of seeing the world have changed in a way to bring me back to Australia. They have changed in how I see myself being used by God, but that is a different point. I am back, and I feel I am here where I am needed..."who'd have thought they'd lead ya, back here where we need ya"**. The friends I have caught up with have told me how much they missed me, and given me tasks to do, and people to see, and things to plan and aim for in the near future which are exciting and heart warming!

I love that God is a God of promises. He commits to doing things, no matter the cost, his seriousness in that can be seen in God the Son dying in our place so that God can have a right relationship with us again, having dealt with our failure himself! I am not saying that my little life -or this trip- is anything like the experience of the Israelite people. But knowing that God has a plan and a purpose and a destination for where life will be is a great comfort as I wonder 'when' and 'how' I will end up 'where'.

"What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you."***

Coming back to Australia is wonderful (so far), I really like it here. But in the end, what I want in life is not good weather but something far more meaningful than that! I want to follow wherever God leads. God's people, as they were about to enter the promised land were open and trusting to God's plans. 

"We will do whatever you command us, and we will go wherever you send us."**** 

I want to have a similar trust and openness as I step out in faith as to what my future holds. The unknown can be daunting and frustrating and worrying, but knowing that my plans are probably different to Gods, and His plans are perfect, I relax knowing I am where I am now for a reason, and if/when I am somewhere else that too will be with a purpose, somewhere I am needed by God. And so I pray for light and truth and guidance as I seek God's will for my life.

*Psalm 43:3

**John Sebastian, 'Welcome Back' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzmBoEfsA9E)
***Genesis 28:15
****Joshua 1:16