How much longer!?

Why doesn't God do something? What is taking Him so long? Where is He? What are we supposed to do in the meantime!? 
In church the other day we reflected on these questions. 

(photo by me taken in Kangaroo Valley October 2014)

I wonder if you have heard the imagery of God being the Bridegroom and the people of God are his Bride. It is one referenced a few times in the bible. "Your Maker is your Husband" (Isaiah 54:5). The story of Hosea taking a prostitute for a wife to symbolise God's relationship towards people, Him faithfully trying to keep us, people ever seeking pleasure elsewhere. In Isaiah we also read of God rejoicing over his bride: "as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you" (Isaiah 62:5). I often find this idea really odd, but also amazingly beautiful. That God commits himself to people so completely, makes promises to them. One day when Jesus returns there will be a great banquet, a wedding feast, a celebration. A wedding between God and His people, a celebration where "they will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God" (Revelation 21:3b).

In light of this imagery of Jesus as the bridegroom and the church as the bride. And people waiting for the day when we can celebrate a beautiful and amazing wedding. Read Matthew 25:1-13, Jesus told this parable:

“At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.

“At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’

“Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’

“‘No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’

“But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut.

“Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the door for us!’

“But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.’

“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour."

Where is God? He, the groom, has gone to collect his bride from all across the world. We wait as those in the celebration are gathered together. Just look at the amazing growth of the church in China and parts of Africa. God is working in this world, bringing people into relationship with Him by His Spirit through his people. God is not silent, his timing is just very different to ours! "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day" (2 Peter 3:8).

And so while God brings in more people daily to his wedding banquet, let us not grow weary of waiting. The delay is bringing more people to the joy of God through his mercy. And so we pray for patience, for wisdom to keep our lanterns of faith burning brightly. We can't borrow faith later on, but must pray to each be satisfied in God's love each day. Let us keep watch.

Eternal God, you have taught us that the night is far spent and the day is at hand; keep us awake and alert, watching for your kingdom, so that when Christ, the bridegroom, comes we mat go out joyfully to meet him, and with him enter into the marriage feast that you have prepared for all who truly love you; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen

Easter

Why did Jesus have to die? What does it even mean that He might have risen from the dead? Basically, what does one man dying 2000 years ago have to do with me?

It's a great question. I think about it often.

I think we can find an answer on Easter Friday. There are seven words or phrases recorded from Jesus as he hung on the cross dying. In my church on the Good Friday Service (see below why it is good) each of the candles represented one of those sayings, as it was said the candle was snuffed out, by the end, Jesus breathes his last and gives up his spirit.

After this, we remember that Jesus' body was laid in a tomb nearby. That night the Sabbath day of rest began. No one could do anything for the body until that day was over. In the culture at the time, a day was not measured by hours but rather simply by participating in a part of that day, so Jesus died on Friday afternoon (one day), all of Saturday he was dead (another day), and on Sunday morning (the beginning of the third day) Jesus' tomb was found empty.

 When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus’ body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, “Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?”

But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’”

Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb.

(Mark 16:1-8a)

The Sun has risen! The tomb was empty, not because Jesus' body had been stolen, not because it was the wrong tomb, but because Jesus is alive!

Why is it called Good Friday? It's not just because we know that Jesus rose from the dead 3 days later, so a good man didn't suffer an unjust death forever. No, it is good because of what Jesus achieved on the cross. He laid down his life, freely, so that many might be saved.
But what does that even mean?

Jesus was a popular teacher in his time, which threatened the local religious leaders at the time, they worried that Jesus would overthrow their positions, but also bring attention from the Roman Emperor who might take away more rights from the Jewish people. So the religious leaders debated what to do with Jesus...
But one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, "You know nothing at all. Nor do you understand that it is better for you that one man should perish for the people, not that the whole nation should perish." He did not say this of his own accord, but being high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the nation, and not for the nation only, but also to gather into one the children of God who are scattered abroad. ~John 11:49-52

Jesus died on behalf of the nation of Israel, to bring peace, but not only for them but for all who are God's people! That is why it is Good Friday! We have someone who paid the perfect price for eternal peace.

content

Are you content? Every now and then in life we are given the opportunity to change what we are doing. Before the decision is upon us we might not even have the other option(s) on our radar! Once it is asked however, it's only right to take it seriously and make a decision. But how? What does it look like to trust God? These are some things I have been wrestling with recently:

Direction: I find it really important to ask people for advice. To see what others consider my strengths and weaknesses. To see what they suggest and ask. Sometimes other people see things in such a different way that it will be insightful and helpful in making a wise decision.

WARNING: these people may be trusted and important people in your life, but remember it is not them who you must please, but God. This is something I only just realised, in the last few months I have been overwhelmed by advice and so conflicted in how to please everyone. Finally I realised that it's not about them, it's about me and God. And I should not be afraid of man. (Proverbs 29:25~ The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.)

Doubt: A few years ago I went to a seminar on doubt and I learn that double-mindedness is quite normal. Before that event I had thought I was alone in my mixed feelings and thoughts. I was advised to follow both trains of thought and see where they would lead to. When given options it's good to imagine what it would be like to follow them through in our imagination.
Elijah asked the people of God when they were turning from His laws: "How long will you go limping between two different opinions?" (1 Kings 18:21). It is like limping. We are unsure and switch ideas each moment. It is debilitating and confusing. It's draining. It is not a good state to be in for long periods of time.

Depression: If doubt is not dealt with, I fear it can lead to depression. It might be evident in not enjoying usual activities, unable to concentrate, feeling overwhelmed, indecisive, lacking in confidence, feeling tired all the time. These are some of the symptoms that have plagued me in the last couple weeks as I transition from uni to the work force. I am unsure where to do and so have got stuck in a place of indecision. But I have hope. I know that I can't really make a wrong decision.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, nor for human masters since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. -Colossians 3:17,23-24

Deadlines: Eventually a decision must be made. Sometimes deadlines are given to us, other time we have to make them ourselves. Sometimes God closes doors and only leaves one open. Other times God let's us make a choice between a few good options. Being open to God's leading is key.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths.

~Proverbs 3:5-6

*

In the end, when we make a decision, we need to trust God with that decision, and be prepared to live with the consequences. A wise friend said to me the other day that in making a significant career decision she asked herself, "on a bad day in X job, will I think 'if only I was in Y job'?" and then asked herself "on a bad day in Y job, will I think 'I wish I was in X job'?". In that way she reminded me that no matter the choice there will be tough days, but it is essential to be content and continue trusting God with each day.

*photo taken by myself from Christensen Park, Vaucluse

why I'm fasting from fasting

Hello!
It has been a while since I last sat down to write a blog post. It's time I started again :)

This year, the year of our Lord 2014, I decided as a new years resolution to learn more about fasting.

It was a simple plan. Each month I would give up something for that month. At the end of a month I thought and decided on the next months thing.
January- no facebook
February- no coffee
March- no internet on my phone
April- no snacks
May- no TV
June- no chocolate
July- fasting from fasting
August- I tried giving up my phone monday to fridays.

This was as far as my fasting got.
It was hard being self-controlled. I learned that it's easy enough to give myself exceptions to rules. I had hoped to spend time learning things about God, which I did but not in the way I expected! The things I chose to give up were only really challenging my self-control and maybe starting different habits. Rather than giving me opportunity to spend time with God in prayer as I had envisioned.

What I didn't expect to learn but led to my eventual fasting from fasting was the realisation that making rules and trying to keep them is quite easy for me. I get what it means and how to do it. I know when I have broken a rule and I congratulate myself on keeping the rules. I am very legalistic in my mindset. 

What I was struggling with was not the outward signs of self-control but the inward signs of selflessness, humility, and graciousness. It's easy for me to be self-righteous and proud. It was hard for me to know what to do with this realisation.

I found I couldn't make a rule about how I live my life or what to fast from next without feeding my pride and arrogance. I had no idea how to deal with this. I'm so used to finding fault in my actions and making dramatic life changes to try and alleviate my situation. Suddenly I was faced with something I couldn't deal with in the same way.

So instead of fasting I decided to fast from fasting: to give myself grace, to learn about God's grace in a whole new way.

Grace.
An undeserved gift.
In my mind, it is the thing I get while I am still a sinner.
It is the favour of God to see me blameless in light of what Jesus did on my behalf.

Grace.
An unmerited second chance.
I have understood grace to be God's Spirit convicting me of the things I have done wrong.
My responsibility was to respond by doing something about that sin. But.

Grace.
A renewal of life.
I am learning that God not only shows us our wrongdoing and sees us as righteous because of Jesus.
God also has the perfect solution; He transforms, renews and changes us!

Grace.
God's unconditional love
Nothing I can do can take away my wrongdoing.
Nothing I say or think can change my selfishness and pride.
Grace does what I cannot. I am completely dependent on Jesus for all that I am.
And His power of transforming of my mind, body, and soul.

I pray that I will continue to grow in Christlikeness and learn to accept His grace in all areas of my life in all ways.

doubts and decisions

One can't go through life without testing your gut feelings every now and then, or shaking things up to ensure later you don't regret (not) making a decision.

*

The other day I was given the opportunity to change what I am doing this year, someone asked me if I was sure I wanted to do the topic I am doing for honours, and gave me the option to change it to a slightly different focus. Both seemed really interesting, although before that moment I was set on the topic I had chosen and the other idea hasn't even been on my radar. Once it was asked however, I had to decide.

I gave myself 5 days to consider both options. I imagined what it would be like to do this new topic, I got really excited. I asked heaps of people what they thought. To choose the theory or the practical. Some told me to "go with what I felt was more interesting", others said "do the theory, that'll be really in-depth and interesting", still others said "do the practical, that's more grounded and interactive". I was torn!

A few years ago I went to a seminar on doubt and I learn that double-mindedness is quite normal. Before that event I had thought I was alone in my mixed feelings and thoughts. I was advised to follow both trains of thought and see where they would lead to. So I began to ask myself: if I did a theory honours, where would it lead me, what would it help me to do, what could I do with it later, what skills would it give me, what do I really want to do in life anyway? And then I asked the same questions for if I did a qualitative honours.

After each conversation and musing I came a little closer to my decision, but in the process I really wasn't sure which one I would choose. Many people now say that they can't see how it was even a question, obviously I would choose the social/qualitative option. But seriously, I contemplated the option of doing theory. I love ideas and theorizing! I enjoy writing essays and reading. However, one of my friends did helpfully say "why don't you have both?" to which I thought, Oh, if only it was that simple!

I have come to the conclusion that I am doing both, but more of the qualitative research because I love people! And would like to work on the ground more than in the theoretical world. So I tested the ideas, and now I can be sure that I am doing the right option. I prayed a lot about it, but I don't believe God is for one or against another: both professions are good, as long as in them I glorify the God who made it possible to think and communicate!

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, nor for human masters since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. -Colossians 3:17,23-24

* fround in http://clgonline.org/the-prayer-of-faith/

smiling from ear to ear!

I'm smiling from ear to ear... because I love summer rain! Today was a warm sunny day, and as I left class at 4:30 the sky looked ominous with grey clouds tumbling and looming to the south east, I hoped that I would get home quickly and remain dry as I don't much like having wet text books. I also wanted to get home quickly so that I might catch a bit of rain/puddles.

As I was going about alone on the root path and hour or so later, I wondered why puddles are so much fun! And why it is ok for children to play in the puddles after the rain, but why is it socially unusual/unacceptable to be an adult who likes jumping in puddles!?

*

By the time I got half way home it was pouring! like raining cats and dogs! like bucketing! The bus stop was overwhelmingly noisy with rain pounding on the roof, wind sweeping rain under the cover, water pouring out the drain pipes and spilling onto the road. There is something wild and beautiful about rain, especially when every 3 minutes the lightning cracks and the thunder rumbles! The excitement was bubbling up inside me!

At my window seat, on the bus, I stared fascinated as the rain drops slipped down the window pane, and watched in delight as the cars drove over puddles spraying water in an ark. One man decided not to get off the bus because it was too wet for him (I wonder what he did once he got to the end of the bus route...?)! I don't think many of us were prepared for the onslaught of water today, so no one was walking about with umbrellas in the rain, they either didn't leave car/home/work, or were running!

I got home surprisingly dry. I dumped my stuff and ran straight back out to play! (I don't have gum boots, but I still had fun.) I walked up the foot path, and in every puddle, I jumped in with both feet; grinning from ear to ear, giggling at the freedom, and delighting in the beauty of puddles!

Puddles are so simple, and can seem childish. But they are so free, and enjoyable! Stamping ones feet is often seen as an angry activity, but in a puddle it only brings joy and makes oneself wet! It takes a bit of social carelessness to go out and jump in puddles. I mean there I was, a young woman, jumping alone (not a child in sight) in puddles on a main road!

My advice for the day, go out and be a child for a bit, and jump in with both feet. It's more fun that way!
...Wouldn't it be fun to do some finger painting! Or make a mudcake? Or draw a picture of a few made up animals and name them... (which I did do last week :p)

--all my own work, aside from the help of a stencil for my animal shapes and a 2yr old co-colourer--

*http://cupcakesandcashmere.com/series-stories/sweet-child-of-mine

Sentence

With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, saw how he died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!”*

I can speak to God.

The other day, I reflected on how amazing this sentence is; the more I thought about it the more I got excited!

I can speak to God.
There is nothing special about me, I am a young woman of a quiet middle-class family. I have a voice, a heart, dreams, trials, joys. I don't have magic words or a great speaking style, I often stumble over words and repeat myself, I am self-centred and ...well pretty average! Yet...

I can speak to God.
There is a freedom in being able to do things. Even if I did not have much freedom in society, I would have the freedom of my thoughts, and that is all I need to converse with God. He CAN give visions and dreams, He CAN use conversations and situations to convey His plans and message, He CAN change hearts, He CAN understand us and He knows us intimately because He has lived among us! So...

I can speak to God.
Communication is amazing, the fact that I can say something and someone else can understand what I mean! ...I mean, wow! And what is even more amazing is that there is an Unseen God who can hear and SPEAK! His means of communication are words. The Bible is God's message to us, and prayers are one way of returning the conversation. I mean...

I can speak to God.
A relationship with someone is defined by what you mean TO each other. God, the Creator, listens TO us, the creation! It's not just me talking TO a wall; it is me talking TO a person! TO someone who cares and wants TO hear us tell our lives, hopes, dreams, fears. He loves hearing from us; it is a fragrant offering TO the Author of Life. Believe it...

I can speak to God.
I have already alluded to this, but we can talk to GOD... Unseen and Creator, who revealed Himself and speaks, who listens to people and cares! GOD who is Holy and Just, Merciful and Gracious, Almighty and Personal ...that's the One we can speak to! How incredible! What can we say to such a Perfect Being, when we are so not perfect!?

"Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water."**

Back when Moses was being instructed by God on how to live a life pleasing. The LORD had a place symbolic of where he was and it was such a holy place that one could only enter after a complicated ceremony, if that was not done then that person's unholiness would result in their death (for more details on the seriousness of this ceremony read Leviticus 16). But since Jesus, there has been a new way to communicate, because the ceremony was accomplished on the cross... once for all! The temple curtain was torn in two from top to bottom!
Resulting in the sentence, I can speak to God.

*Mark 15:37-39
**Hebrews 10:19-22