definition

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,

and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.*

There are so many terms in the world which we say but are never quite sure if others are hearing the same meaning. I came across this issue the other week over the definition of 'nothing'. I realised that perhaps the god that I speak about in this blog might not be the god you understand it to mean. I have only done a tiny bit of philosophy but it has helped me begin to see the bigger ideas behind the words that we use. Ideas are awesome, but complicated. We might use different words to describe the same idea or use the same word and be thinking of two different ideas! 

“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”**

I want to share that my idea of God is pretty big, but most of the time I subconsciously or consciously try to contain Him, keep Him away from things I feel he has no business in, or I limit His ability to act in my life by ignoring His power. Maybe by acknowledging this and beginning to open a dialogue in the wider world we can clarify the concept and expand the idea of what we mean when we say 'God'. When someone mentions the word 'god' what is tricky is what I hear is different to what they might be trying to say. Before plowing ahead with my ideas, I want to first learn to ask what they understand about the words I am using.

God is the perfect being, the perfect idea. He is omnipresent, omniscient and omnipresent. If God lacked existence He would not be perfect, as He is perfect he must exist. By this argument, if someone says 'god' but does not mean the perfect being they are not referring to God. God is not a part of this world as something that can be measured, contained, examined like anything in creation. It is not a question of 'what' holds the world together but 'who'. God is not an object, but a subject. He doesn't want or need to convince us that he exists on our terms. One of the major limits of our way of seeing and examining things is it contains and constrains God to our understandings and experience of the world, trying to put boundaries on things. But God is beyond containment, if we somehow managed to contain god, he would cease to be God, but rather a weaker smaller man-made version. Rather God wants us to get to know Him on His terms by looking at His story, His revelation, His Son; who is God on earth!

C.S. Lewis wrote of his childhood view of God. He said, "I had approached God, or my idea of God, without love, without awe, even without fear. He was, in my mental picture of this miracle, to appear neither as Saviour nor as Judge, but merely as a magiciam; and when He had done what was required of Him I supposed He would simply- well, go away."*** When this God did not respond the way he wanted or expected, he stopped believing in Him. This however, like he has mentioned, is just his idea of God. If we are to approach God, we should come with humility seeking knowledge rather than seeking to instruct. We should open our eyes and hearts to the bigger God, both Saviour and Judge, who is awesome and full of Love.

Indeed, if you call out for insight

and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for silver

and search for it as for hidden treasure,

then you will understand the fear of the LORD

and find the knowledge of God.****

*Proverbs 9:10

**Alan Greenspan
***Surprised by Joy, by C.S. Lewis, p22
****Proverbs 2:3-5

breath-taking

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.*

I really enjoy breath-taking hugs, the ones that squeeze the ribs and -a great one- lifts me off the ground! The other week I was blessed enough to get a lot of hugs! I was on a camp, and seeing friends after many months of separation meant a lot of joy and love being shared each time we saw each other during those few days. It was heart warming and made the experience comfortable and affectionate, special and intimate.

There are some situations where intimacy happens naturally. But most of the time, we have to work hard at intimacy. It doesn't have to be hugs, but can happen in a variety of ways. One friend from that camp rightly stated, "There can be no intimacy without conversation. To know and love a friend over the years you must have regular talks."** If someone stops listening or speaking then it is hard to maintain a close relationship with them.

Practicing intimacy isn't easy. Especially working out what that looks like with which people in our many circles, these days we make so many connections... at work, at school, on conferences, in our neighbourhoods and churches. 

Paul writes to the Christians of Rome instructing them on how to treat one another, but also those around them. I cannot help but notice the generosity of spirit and the willingness to be open and honest with all sorts of people. The intimacy God asks for through Paul suggests much more than I would naturally give. Each of these instructions could be unpacked (or I could have just quoted one), but I'd rather encourage you to look through them all to see which one is challenging you today, and I feel they are more useful together than alone to help us know and understand what it looks like to be intimate with other people.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.***

We are not only called to cling to fellow men and women, and rely on their friendship which at times is stronger than family. In the Bible I have found it fascinating to read how much God likes to talk to and hear from people. God spoke to Abraham, Jacob, Noah, Jeremiah, Jonah and so many others! He spoke to share His wisdom, give guidance, warning and instruction. And in turn, God asks, hopes and expects that we will return the communication. If we fail to listen or fail to speak, how can we say we are daily working on the relationship? How can we expect the intimacy we are unwilling to give and share? Thankfully, we don't have to figure it all out on our own. God has given us the Bible so that we can know and begin to understand His character, and "the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words."**** The gift of His Spirit is awesome as He himself carries us through the dark days when our words fail, or our commitment to work at intimacy dwindles for a time. It's never too late to work at intimacy, it's never to late to try again at making the relationship with God work. He gives us innumerable 'second' chances. God is a friend who sticks closer than a brother or sister.

Sometimes I get lazy, I get comfortable in my life, and I forget to listen to God speak. I forget to tell Him what is on my mind. I forget to seek His counsel and wisdom. And so, this post is by me -in my failure- imploring us to keep working at intimacy. It is something I long for, I long to know that God knows my heart and I know His. I long to have friends whom I can trust with my life, and they trust me with theirs. I can't just wish these things into existence, I -and all of us- have to work to ensure we have and sustain such friendships that last.

*Proverbs 18:24
**N. Brown
***Romans 12:9-18
****Romans 8:26

beauty

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.*

I was going to begin this post by a story or two of people giving me compliments out of the blue. I was going to use that as a way to lead onto healthy views of beauty and charm, but as I have reflected on this I too am falling into a superficial definition of beauty. Beauty isn't about how others make you feel good, the charm that people use with each other is deceitful and beauty isn't something that can be modeled after a human ideal.

Earlier this year I was having a bad week, feeling fat and sluggish, lazy and generally ugly. Maybe to the onlooker I looked none of those things, but that's how I felt. I was struggling to see the beauty of the creation that God said was "very good" - me. I prayed that God would show me how valuable I am, how He sees me, and what is truly important. In answer to that prayer, I have continued to learn and understand more about my true beauty and charm, and what it means to trust in the Lord.

There are moments when I feel beautiful and charming. But it never lasts that long, before long I feel clumsy and less than average. Too quickly I look at the billboards, at peers, at society and I see flawless, skinny, perfect faces and bodies. In my mind, I don't measure up, and I never will. I usually feel like Leah must have when Jacob came to her father's house, and instead of looking at her -the elder sister-, he sees the lovely figure and beauty of her younger sister Rachel, and Leah is forgotten, rejected, not worth a second glance.**

I can't spend the rest of my life trying to be or look something that I am not. Nor should I let envy and jealousy consume me. That just seems like a futile, stressful and tiring exercise. So I seek God's perspective and look to Proverbs 31 for what is truly valuable in a person; in a woman. The truth is, beauty won't last and charm doesn't satisfy.

The wise ancient teaching suggests that a woman of noble character 'dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong'.*** Staying fit and healthy is something that our society has warped to extreme measures, but holds truth as good for the body and soul. Instead of worrying about what I am physically wearing, I can dedicate myself to treating my body with respect and keeping my body healthy. Treating myself and others with dignity, trusting God with the future, learning to seek God's wisdom so that when I speak I'm not wasting my breath! And learning to be kind and encourage kindness in others.

Strength and dignity are her clothing,

and she laughs at the time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,

and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.****

These qualities are not only significant to women! Men can also have strength and dignity, trust in God's future plans for them, speak with wisdom and teach kindness. But I really appreciate that this passage is in the wisdom literature of the Old Testament and speaks directly to me, to all women, about having a noble character as truly important, and then describing what that looks like!

The beauty that I can enjoy as a youth and as I grow older is that which does not count wrinkles or grew hair, fat or bone, perfect teeth or shapely eyebrows, clear skin or perfect hair. Rather I enjoy the beauty of laughter and smiles, hope and joy, self-confidence because of God's unconditional love, satisfaction in today because it is a day made by God for his glory with me in it!

God sees us as beautiful -especially our feet (:p)- when we do His will of spreading the Good News about repentance and forgiveness. 

"How beautiful on the mountains

are the feet of those who bring good news,

who proclaim peace,

who bring good tidings,

who proclaim salvation,

who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"*****

p.s. I have been challenged in writing this post to consider how I compliment people: do I seek to genuinely build them up in love, or am I seeking to charm them for some other reasons. Charm is -after all- deceitful.

 
*Proverbs 31:30 
**Genesis 29:17
***Proverbs 31:17
****Proverbs 31:25-26
*****Isaiah 52:7