breath-taking

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.*

I really enjoy breath-taking hugs, the ones that squeeze the ribs and -a great one- lifts me off the ground! The other week I was blessed enough to get a lot of hugs! I was on a camp, and seeing friends after many months of separation meant a lot of joy and love being shared each time we saw each other during those few days. It was heart warming and made the experience comfortable and affectionate, special and intimate.

There are some situations where intimacy happens naturally. But most of the time, we have to work hard at intimacy. It doesn't have to be hugs, but can happen in a variety of ways. One friend from that camp rightly stated, "There can be no intimacy without conversation. To know and love a friend over the years you must have regular talks."** If someone stops listening or speaking then it is hard to maintain a close relationship with them.

Practicing intimacy isn't easy. Especially working out what that looks like with which people in our many circles, these days we make so many connections... at work, at school, on conferences, in our neighbourhoods and churches. 

Paul writes to the Christians of Rome instructing them on how to treat one another, but also those around them. I cannot help but notice the generosity of spirit and the willingness to be open and honest with all sorts of people. The intimacy God asks for through Paul suggests much more than I would naturally give. Each of these instructions could be unpacked (or I could have just quoted one), but I'd rather encourage you to look through them all to see which one is challenging you today, and I feel they are more useful together than alone to help us know and understand what it looks like to be intimate with other people.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.***

We are not only called to cling to fellow men and women, and rely on their friendship which at times is stronger than family. In the Bible I have found it fascinating to read how much God likes to talk to and hear from people. God spoke to Abraham, Jacob, Noah, Jeremiah, Jonah and so many others! He spoke to share His wisdom, give guidance, warning and instruction. And in turn, God asks, hopes and expects that we will return the communication. If we fail to listen or fail to speak, how can we say we are daily working on the relationship? How can we expect the intimacy we are unwilling to give and share? Thankfully, we don't have to figure it all out on our own. God has given us the Bible so that we can know and begin to understand His character, and "the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words."**** The gift of His Spirit is awesome as He himself carries us through the dark days when our words fail, or our commitment to work at intimacy dwindles for a time. It's never too late to work at intimacy, it's never to late to try again at making the relationship with God work. He gives us innumerable 'second' chances. God is a friend who sticks closer than a brother or sister.

Sometimes I get lazy, I get comfortable in my life, and I forget to listen to God speak. I forget to tell Him what is on my mind. I forget to seek His counsel and wisdom. And so, this post is by me -in my failure- imploring us to keep working at intimacy. It is something I long for, I long to know that God knows my heart and I know His. I long to have friends whom I can trust with my life, and they trust me with theirs. I can't just wish these things into existence, I -and all of us- have to work to ensure we have and sustain such friendships that last.

*Proverbs 18:24
**N. Brown
***Romans 12:9-18
****Romans 8:26