beauty

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.*

I was going to begin this post by a story or two of people giving me compliments out of the blue. I was going to use that as a way to lead onto healthy views of beauty and charm, but as I have reflected on this I too am falling into a superficial definition of beauty. Beauty isn't about how others make you feel good, the charm that people use with each other is deceitful and beauty isn't something that can be modeled after a human ideal.

Earlier this year I was having a bad week, feeling fat and sluggish, lazy and generally ugly. Maybe to the onlooker I looked none of those things, but that's how I felt. I was struggling to see the beauty of the creation that God said was "very good" - me. I prayed that God would show me how valuable I am, how He sees me, and what is truly important. In answer to that prayer, I have continued to learn and understand more about my true beauty and charm, and what it means to trust in the Lord.

There are moments when I feel beautiful and charming. But it never lasts that long, before long I feel clumsy and less than average. Too quickly I look at the billboards, at peers, at society and I see flawless, skinny, perfect faces and bodies. In my mind, I don't measure up, and I never will. I usually feel like Leah must have when Jacob came to her father's house, and instead of looking at her -the elder sister-, he sees the lovely figure and beauty of her younger sister Rachel, and Leah is forgotten, rejected, not worth a second glance.**

I can't spend the rest of my life trying to be or look something that I am not. Nor should I let envy and jealousy consume me. That just seems like a futile, stressful and tiring exercise. So I seek God's perspective and look to Proverbs 31 for what is truly valuable in a person; in a woman. The truth is, beauty won't last and charm doesn't satisfy.

The wise ancient teaching suggests that a woman of noble character 'dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong'.*** Staying fit and healthy is something that our society has warped to extreme measures, but holds truth as good for the body and soul. Instead of worrying about what I am physically wearing, I can dedicate myself to treating my body with respect and keeping my body healthy. Treating myself and others with dignity, trusting God with the future, learning to seek God's wisdom so that when I speak I'm not wasting my breath! And learning to be kind and encourage kindness in others.

Strength and dignity are her clothing,

and she laughs at the time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,

and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.****

These qualities are not only significant to women! Men can also have strength and dignity, trust in God's future plans for them, speak with wisdom and teach kindness. But I really appreciate that this passage is in the wisdom literature of the Old Testament and speaks directly to me, to all women, about having a noble character as truly important, and then describing what that looks like!

The beauty that I can enjoy as a youth and as I grow older is that which does not count wrinkles or grew hair, fat or bone, perfect teeth or shapely eyebrows, clear skin or perfect hair. Rather I enjoy the beauty of laughter and smiles, hope and joy, self-confidence because of God's unconditional love, satisfaction in today because it is a day made by God for his glory with me in it!

God sees us as beautiful -especially our feet (:p)- when we do His will of spreading the Good News about repentance and forgiveness. 

"How beautiful on the mountains

are the feet of those who bring good news,

who proclaim peace,

who bring good tidings,

who proclaim salvation,

who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"*****

p.s. I have been challenged in writing this post to consider how I compliment people: do I seek to genuinely build them up in love, or am I seeking to charm them for some other reasons. Charm is -after all- deceitful.

 
*Proverbs 31:30 
**Genesis 29:17
***Proverbs 31:17
****Proverbs 31:25-26
*****Isaiah 52:7