sleep on it

'count the patience of our Lord as salvation'*

There are some things that really get on my nerves, make my teeth clench and my fists form. If pushed I can get into a blind rage, and seek the highest authority I can find nearby to put forth my complaint of injustice. And, worse still, if nothing seems to be happening the way I want it, I take it into my own hands and forge through on my own; sidestepping authority, ignoring advice, determined that I am right.

In the past few months I have been reading through the Psalms. Early on I came across this verse that was a bit uncomfortable. So I decided I needed to reflect on it a while, I wrote it in my journal and have tried to read it and act upon it:

"Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent."**

Be silent. I laugh when I think of that. Me, silent? I've tried fasting from talking a few times. It is amazingly challenging! But what is so overwhelming about this statement is, that I am advised to stay quiet precisely when I am burning to shout and say something!

At first I wanted to write a blog post about how sometimes it is ok, good even, to be angry and shout out against injustice. But the more I reflect on it, the more I think that's not really what it's about, bbecause the next line says:

'Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord.'**

I have spoken a little in another post ('old snow') about some things God requires from our sacrifices. I will only add that our sacrifices comes hand in hand with our trust that God is who He says He is, and He has done what is written about Him in the Bible, and He will do what He has promised.

Yesterday, I was out riding my bike around town, and like in many situations, I was singing to myself. I enjoy listening to Christian music, and so it is often what comes to mind first. I found myself singing a line that struck a cord, it felt like another answer to my problem of anger...

 'Oh, if ten thousand years go by
We will wait
Let us tell of his great love
He will come
For his patience means salvation'***

God will return one day, but every day that He has not come, every night that He gives us to sleep out our anger, is another day to share His love. He is angry because he loves so deeply. He waits because he is patiently waiting for more people to repent of their selfish living and recognise Him as the Maker and Judge.

God is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love****. Jesus taught that God is merciful, and in the same way we should be merciful to others. He talked about this in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant***** (I encourage you to read it for yourself). It shows how much God -the King- has forgiven me and how little in comparison I -the servant- should forgive others.

Jesus begins the Parable by saying that we should forgive a brother or sister who sins against us 'seventy seven times', meaning MANY times! We shouldn't count how many times we forgive, and at the 76th time say, this is your last chance! Rather, it is an example of the patience of God's continued forgiveness that we should continue to forgive no matter how many times.

I think this reaches further than just things that happen against us personally. I often get worked up about issues that weren't done personally against me, or affect me per se. Yet I think this 'slow to anger' still applies. To wait and sleep on it. Hopefully I will then have a better way of dealing or responding to things, than the initial passion and rage I feel like acting upon. And so now, as well as reflecting on not letting anger control me, I now remember God patience with me, which gives me the strength to do the first better.

p.s. I'm sure this 'slow to anger' is wise, as it is found numerous times in Proverbs, including 14:29, 15:18, 16:32 and 19:11!

*2 Peter 3:15 
**Psalm 4:4-5
***We Belong to the Day, by Michael Morrow (2006) 
****Psalm 86:15
*****Matthew 18:21-35