5 minute challenge

Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.*

 

I like to talk. I'm learning to be a better listener. Yesterday I was chided for talking over people too many times! I am ashamed of my big mouth, and how many useless, rude and selfish things are said from it. If I have spoken over, interupted a story, ranted on-and-on without concent, raised my voice to be heard, or all of the above to you, please forgive me. I'm trying to change, and with God's help, I will.

Yesterday, I began my 5 Minute Challenge. When someone usually asks how I am or how my day was, I tell them a detailed step-by-step recount. I am aware that that might not be what people are asking for! And then, that I also don't give people the same time and interest that I demand myself, I'm sorry! So, my 5 Minute Challenge is me letting someone else speak for 5 minutes without my interuptions!
I tried it on a friend last night, I asked a whole bunch of questions then put on a countdown timer. It was painful! I was desperate to put a word in and share my own story or view. But I pracitced my self-control muscle and kept quiet and listening. After 3 minutes she had finished her recount and asked me how my day was, and when discovering she still had 2 minutes of my silence she wasn't quite sure what to do with that time! It made me realise that sometimes less is better, and that other times more is better. As I was still interested in her day and parts that she hadn't shared. A balanced compromise is best! (Maybe I will allow myself a clarifying question) For my friend 5 minutes is a very long time, while for me 5 minutes goes past in a flash when I am talking. But is everything that I say worth it? More often than not, no!

In Proverbs there are numerous sayings of what the foolish person is like, one I quoted above, suggests that fools take more pleasure is sharing their own opinion than trying to really listen and understand. I am a fool. And I don't think that is anything to boast about! In a letter to the church in Ephasis Paul warns against followers of Jesus Christ talking foolishly, especially in a way that shows idolatry -valuing something/one else above God, including, oneself.

"But among you there must not be... obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God."**

There is no place for foolish talk, so I can't excuse my behaviour. It has to change, please help me do so by reminding me of my 5 Minute Challenge to stay quiet and listen.

Peter, writing to the dispersed churches, said: "For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves."*** We are free to do as we please, say with we like, think what we choose. God gave us laws for how to live in order to please Him, in Jesus we no longer have the pressure to achieve that completely and perfectly (which no one can do) as the only way to gain God's favour. Rather, Jesus let's us stand in His place, while He stands in ours. So that, Jesus who followed perfectly gives his record to ensure forgivenss. Indeed we can live freely, but know that that freedom is not to be taken lightly (or to do evil with) but valued and used to show love to God and others, in word and deed and thought! So, I thank those who asked me to be quiet and listen, as they did good and silenced foolish ignorant talk!

 

Direct us, O Lord, in all our doings with thy most gracious
favor, and further us with thy continual help; that in all our
works begun, continued, and ended in thee, we may glorify
thy holy Name, and finally, by thy mercy, obtain everlasting
life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.****

*Proverbs 18:2
**Ephesians 5:3-5
***1 Peter 2:15-16
****The (Online) Book of Common Prayer, Prayers, 57. For Guidance

Faithful

The Lord says,

“Then I will heal you of your faithlessness;

my love will know no bounds,

for my anger will be gone forever.*

Would you notice if I stopped talking to you? How would you respond? would you check to see if something was wrong? or just let me go my own way, assuming that some friends aren't meant to last? what if we had promised that we'd stay in touch regardless of how far and long? what if you tried hard to connect and keep the friendship going, but I ignored you, didn't show up to things, forgot to reply?

Friendships are hard to keep going long term, especially when the situation or environment where we connected is no longer where we are. It's hard to stay focused on what is important, and decide who to invest in and how long to continue working on a one-sided friendship. I have suffered and perpetrated in this dilemma. Staying faithful is really hard!

Amazingly, God wants to be in relationship with me, with all of us humans! He knows what we are like, that we struggle to keep promises we make, that we fail to keep healthy relationships and friendships, that we have short attention spans! Yet He still promised to Abraham to give him land, descendants and blessing, and if God did not do this, he would die. That was the covenant promise that people made in that time, to seal a deal they would walk between the halves of carcasses, symbolising that if they did not do what they said, they would be killed like the animals splayed on the ground.** God went through but did not require Abraham to do the same, God sealed the deal himself, meaning He was and is prepared to die to keep his promises!

Throughout the Old Testament we can read of the people God chose for himself, whom he had made that promise to, rejecting him, going their own way, and only when calamity falls do they remember the LORD and his promises. And God heard their groaning, and he remembered his covenant promise. That he would not destroy them for rejecting him, but rather keep his promise and continue to ensure they had a people, a place and blessing.

I am struck by how often and quickly I forget God, and I am sure I am not alone, the Bible is full of forgetful and faithless people! God asks, through the prophet Jeremiah, that the people of Israel to go and look, go and search in other lands and ask themselves:

"Has any nation ever traded its gods for new ones, even though they are not gods at all? Yet my people have exchanged their glorious God for worthless idols! The heavens are shocked at such a thing and shrink bank in horror and dismay," says the LORD. "For my people have done two evil things: They have abandoned me--- the fountain of living water. And they have dug for themselves cracked cisterns that can hold no water at all!"***

God is not only terribly hurt that we forget him, and reject the friendship he holds out to us. But he is shocked and disappointed in what we chose to replace him with! Things that don't last, that can be stolen and lost, that rust and fail, that grow weak and don't answer, that ignore us and cannot actually help us in any of life's true problems! Eventually, to fulfil his promise to Abraham, he had to make the ultimate sacrifice, and die. The Son of God, on the Place of the Skull in Israel just outside Jerusalem, died the penalty we should have had, for forsaking our side of the covenant that God made with us. Instead, in his great love and mercy, he took that upon himself! So that his anger is gone forever and his love knows no ends! God cannot deny his own promises, He is faithful to himself and faithful to us. Even when we fail to remember God, when we are faithless, he ensures that we can still be in a relationship with him.

The saying is sure: 

If we have died with him, we will also live with him;

if we endure, we shall also reign with him;

if we deny him, he will deny us;

if we are faithless, he remains faithful--

for he cannot deny himself.****

*Hosea 14:4
**Genesis 15

***Jeremiah 2:11-13
****2 Timothy 2:11-13

Excuses

For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.*

What if... we stop making excuses? would you go for a run? write that email? fill out that form? call that person? start that business? catch up with that friend? try something new? be that extra bit kinder? wait a little bit longer? ask more questions? be open to change? Listen with an open mind? investigate the evidence?

I read the question in 2011 on a sign in the city while on a bus. I remember the moment I saw it clearly. I was going into uni, each banner in the city had a different ending to "what if...". For me, at that moment, the question was exactly what I needed. A wake up call, a chance to get out out and try something new, to stop making excuses for not changing, for not being firm with my decisions. When I allowed myself to think without the excuses I was amazed to find that I could think in a clear line, rather than the viscous circle I had been in before hand: I tried, I failed, I gave up, I hoped, I tried, I failed, I gave up again, I hoped... Coming clean with my thoughts was one of the best things I did that year. And so, I still pose that question to myself every now and then, to see what excuses are keeping me in or from things.

In my personal, volunteer, and professional life this question was significant at the time. But it was also important for me spiritually. Over the next month, I was challenged to think about how I shared my faith, how I viewed my faith, how I dealt with failure, how I approached God, how I saw myself in His plan for the world. One of the lessons I learnt was that people are never forced into believing things, either by threat of pain or force of argument.

"It is as absurd to argue men, as to torture them, into believing."^

A lot of Christians throughout history, I fear, have tried both to argue and to torture people into believing. I am ever more firmly of the opinion that that is not the way things are done! Faith is chosen freely, or else it is false. When we consider that Jesus shows that God is a God of love, who steps out into our world, with patience and acceptance, nurturing and shepherding people, answering and relieving fears. God shows himself in so many ways, He declares that none of us are without excuse, because all of creation screams of its Maker. If we are to follow Jesus as Lord and God, then should we not also follow his practices?

Jesus said, "“A man once gave a great banquet and invited many. And at the time for the banquet he sent his servant to say to those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’ But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said to him, ‘I have bought a field, and I must go out and see it. Please have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to examine them. Please have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.’ So the servant came and reported these things to his master. Then the master of the house became angry and said to his servant, ‘Go out quickly to the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor and crippled and blind and lame.’ And the servant said, ‘Sir, what you commanded has been done, and still there is room.’ And the master said to the servant, ‘Go out to the highways and hedges and compel people to come in, that my house may be filled. For I tell you, none of those men who were invited shall taste my banquet.’”"***

Those invited might make excuses, but that doesn't mean the party won't happen, just that others will be welcomed in! I can only image how sincere the original guests were in their excuses, but really who wouldn't want to stop and have free food! And how annoyed must the master have been to be refused again and again. So many lame excuses! I love how generous and open the man is, letting in everyone from off the street. A full house makes for an exciting party, as they say 'the more, the merrier'. This man might appear to care only about his party bring lively, but really the story is teaching us that one and all are welcome before God, and he doesn't have preferences to just "his friends" who -when it comes down to it- seem too busy and full of excuses! Instead God opens the doors of His love to one and all, not forcing in the reluctant, but welcoming those who don't put up barriers between them and Him.

The hard part about the loving approach, is people can still say no. Jesus found that himself, when a rich young man walked away sad because he didn't like what he had to give up.** Some wrestle with the ideas and then make informed decisions, others trust the opinion of friends or experts to make their decision. Some make excuses why not to explore, or why not to believe, or how it can't be the way it seems. Ultimately, each and every one of us makes up our own mind whether openly or not. Cardinal Newman sums up this free will by saying, "We can believe what we choose. We are answerable for what we choose to believe."^

What if we stopped making excuses? What decisions will we make? What choices will be settle with? Where will it take us? Do we really have good and sound excuses? Are we happy with what we currently have? Are we satisfied with what we have chosen? What are the excuses keeping us from? What fears are hidden behind out excuses? Are we prepared to be answerable one day for the choice we make?

*Romans 1:19-20

^Cardinal John Henry Newman (1801-1890)

**Matthew 19:16-22

***Luke 14:12-24