"Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’"*
As I say goodbye to friends and family there is one thing in
common with them all, a promise to stay in touch! I'm usually pretty good at
keeping in contact, it's made especially easy with internet and social networking
sites! But I don't just leave it at that promise, somehow each time people ask
for me to stay in touch I promise that I will write them a postcard. This is a
great idea, and would work splendidly, if I actually wrote down a list of
everyone I was making that promise to and their addresses!
I have also promised a few friends
that I will catch up with them before I leave, and as the days until I leave
shrink I wonder how it's all going to work... but I will try to make sure it
does! I have also promised people that when I get back we will catch up -how I
am going to remember all this in my head I have no idea! But yes, I have made a
lot of promises to many different people in the last few days and weeks. I
hope some of my friends will remind me of my promises, so that I can keep them.
Nevertheless, it has got me thinking about promises and carrying
them out. And the quote from Jesus above came into my mind. If I say 'maybe' is
that actually yes or no? In some cultures -e.g. where I grew up in Tanzania- it
means ‘yes’, in other cultures -e.g. in Australia where I live- maybe really
means ‘no’. And if I say 'yes' but don't do it, I am letting people down! The
context in which Jesus says those words suggests that we should avoid promising
on anything that we cannot control or that doesn't really belong to us anyway.
Yet I know
that a broken promise is hurtful. When someone says they'll pay you back,
and it takes them a little longer than they said, it can put a strain on your
trust. When someone promises to help set up or volunteer for something, and are
late or forget, that can be frustrating. When I promise mum to help clean up
the kitchen and then forget, it's disappointing. Even when I promise myself I
will eat less, or walk more, or keep my room tidy, and then I don't do any of
those things... It's disheartening!!
I guess part
of being human means we are not perfect, and can't do everything we say or hope
to achieve. We will let one another down. But that doesn't mean we should stop
making promises! I think they help deepen friendships, build trust, establish
an understanding, and enable partnership.
One of my favourite board games is RISK.
It is played on a world map and each player has an army and a mission to
capture certain parts of the world -or achieve world domination! Promises are
essential to the game's functioning, in the form of alliances and treaties. I
promise not to attack my neighbour on one side for 3 turns, so that I can focus
on a different opponent, for example. Yet, in the world of games, part of the
strategy -sometimes- is to break those promises while the “enemy/ally” is
unprepared and vulnerable! Yet, I do not think that in real life one can or
should use strategy as an excuse for breaking promises! Nor is it right to take
advantage of people who are vulnerable or unprepared!
It reminds
me of the lines of a song I sing in church, "And so we know that Your
promises are sure"**. Even if I can't keep my promises, I know that there
is one who can and does.
"For no matter how many promises
God has made [and he has made a lot!], they are “Yes” [answered] in
Christ."***
God knows and commands the future, and so He can make promises
and fulfil them. Christmas is an exciting time where I remember that God does fulfil
promises.
So I will
try and do what I have promised, and if (rather, when) I fail, please forgive
me. I won't promise on anything that I can’t control, but say honestly: 'Yes, I
will’ to the things I can, while “No, I won’t” to things I don’t plan to do.
Letting my yes be yes, and my no be no, and trying to avoid the 'maybe' which
is just confusing!
*Matthew 5:37
**'Thanksgiving'
by Rob Smith 1988 (http://au.emumusic.com/thanksgiving)
***2
Corinthians 1:20
